Being a Fiend

Is anyone else a  fiend of some sort? I decided today that  I  am  officially a  tobacco fiend. First off  let me say I do  not have  an  addiction.  I have no urge  to  smoke  unless I am in the state of  smoking. But I  am a  fiend  when  I  do smoke. I  feel like that  kid  who takes two inhales of a cigarette and its gone. I love it.  Well not  cigarettes. I  actually invested  forty dollars in a good pipe (not  for the  cool  factor) for the pure sake  that when i do  decide  to  let out my inner fiend at least its as enjoyable as it  can be. Fuck, that's good stuff. I  mean it tastes  good. AND you get a  slight buzz. Not  unlike the feeling of coming down  from smoking weed. Which  I do not like.  I  tried the whole weed thing out; smoked a lot, but decided it wasn't  for me.  I  have  too much anxiety  to  enjoy that high. Not that I worry about getting caught,  but just  the guilt. I  try to  tell  myself its  okay, but there's always  that  little ping of guilt.

So  I lost my pipe on my last  drunken  splurge of  Freshman year. I  don't  remember smoking it. I  remember packing it and  that  it  was  smoked. But absolutely no  clue  where it is.  I feel  like it's  some sort of  sick metaphor. You lose  things. They don't come back.  You might  try to find it  and maybe even get lucky but  sometimes they're just gone.

I'm thinking on investing  in a hookah to bring back to school with me.